By htown_blk_frk on Monday, April 11, 2011 - 10:24 am:
How do some men find the courage and balls to come out, while others< like myself, stay closeted and scared? I wouldn't go as far as say I'm jealous, but I do envy those who do. Especially those who do it when they were young. Here I am, a 45 years old fag still hiding behind a closet and living my life on the downlow. How come they get to live a happy and healthy life when me and people like me live in hell. I mean, honestly, isn't it torture knowing that in order to enjoy sex with my wife I have to imagine she's a dude or that I'm her and she's me doing the fucking? Every year I say I'm going to pack it up and be who I truly am and every year I back out. why do some people have the courage and balls and some people don't?
You Sound Like I Once Did. And What Is So Ironic, We`re The Same Age.
The Difference Between Us Is That I Moved Out. But I Was Still There For My Kids.
While Living On My Own, A Huge Weight Had Been Lifted From My Shoulders ! And I Also Stopped Dating Women. It`s Not Fair To Them. That I Could Not Be The Man That They Thought They Had. Besides, I Always Knew I Was Much More Attracted To Men.
Am I Totally Out ? No ! I`m Discreet, And Keep My Business To Myself...
However, I Am Able To Do Whatever I Want. See Whomever I Want. And Most Of All... Come, And Go As I Please !
Without An Arguments, Or Any Guilt Feelings. Truth Be Told. The Ex, And I Are Still Very Close. We Get Along Much Better As Friends, Then We Did As Lovers.
Long Story Short...
This 45 Year Old Gay, GrandFather Is... (In My Singing Voice) " Living My Life Like It`s Golden !"
Htown_Blk_Frk
If You`re Truly Feeling That Way, You Need To Make That Move ! Life Is Too Short My Friend...
By htown_blk_frk on Tuesday, April 12, 2011 - 1:20 am:
Thank you for those encouraging words. I too am a father of 4 (3 grown, one 2 year-old) and am soon to be a grandfather. The truth is I've been a failure as a father and an even worse failure as a husband/partner. Been married 3 times and you are so right, I can never be the man they expect or need me to be and that sucks worse than anything else.
By htown_blk_frk on Tuesday, April 12, 2011 - 1:23 am:
Hi Guys, I came out when I was 18, I decided that life was to short to pretend to be someone I was not, it was not easy and I lost a few friends in the process, but then I realized that people who care about me for who I am, for the person I am, being Gay only means I am attracted to men. That's It. People in your life who Love you or Care about you will still Love and Care about you. If they don't then chances are they never really did to begin with. What matters most is that we are true to ourselves, and Love ourselves for the people we are.
I have never openly told any of my family members that I am bi. I have however told my wife. At first shit was volatile in this house! With time, she has become a little more understanding. She doesn't want to hear about it, but I am allowed to get a little strange occasionally. She knows I crossdress, and has seen me in panties and stockings. She has been my best friend for years, and when I told her it wasn't easy. I told her over coffee one morning, it was hard, but 100% worth it. I was most worried about losing her, sinnce we have know each other since our freshman year of highschool.
