This long so please have patience.

I am looking for comments and people’s feeling on my situation. So please share your thoughts.

I am not really into labels about sexuality but I have fooled around with a guy over the past few years outside of my marriage. My wife provides very little sex. At the sexual peak of our married life it was once every 6 to 8 weeks at best, and it could go as long a 3 to 4 months between fooling around. In the past two years we have not had sex at all. Before we got married we had a very active and rewarding sex life.

In our early married years, I once brought home an issued of Penthouse Letters. She started reading the man on man section and was getting pretty hot. I ate her out as she was reading the stories to herself and she cam pretty hard. She then asked me to get some gay porn for her to see. This was back in the early 90’s so the internet was not such a rich place for viewing videos and such. I got her a movie and we started to watch it together. I was getting really hot watching her get hot. She asked to watch it alone and I let her. After about half an hour she came into the bedroom and we fooled around, but my feeling was that she would have been more happy to watch the movie and get off.

As our marriage had less and less sex, all I could focus on was how horny she got watching the gay porno and reading the stories. She said she never watched it again but I don’t know. Soon after this time I was playing with her and I used her vibrator on her. Then she was giving me a handjob. I started to help her and jack myself off and I asked her to use the vib in my ass. She did but the whole thing turned her off she said. She did not really get it in my ass. She just had the tip in me. I enjoyed it but for her it was a turn off. I remember as I came telling her how much I like her doing that to me. She knows that I would like her to touch me there more often and this bothered her too.

This all left me searching for a sexual outlet. I would read bi stories and that really turned me on. I would watch the movie I got her and even bought another bi movie that we watched together once. I hinted that I wanted to do those things and that turned her off. But because I had once seen it turn her on so much and that was the only thing I saw turn her on, well I kept reading stories and looking at pictures. Then I finally decided to try it and see what it was like.

I met these guys and sucked a cock for the first time. I then would met one of the guys after that every so often. I did meet the first guy one more time and we did some video which was fun. Eventually with the other guy I asked him to fuck me and we have done a lot of things together over the years. He enjoys bondage so I let him do that to me a few times. He had me wear a hood and everything.

Here is the point of my story – recently I met this guy and we had a woman join us. She watched that was her thing. She played a little with me and got into the session which was really hot. My wife by reading my private e-mail on excite found out about my activities. I don’t know how she got the password or found the account my guess is that she has like a dos key type program installed on the main computer. I told her I only met this guy twice in the summer and had oral sex. Once with him alone and once with the woman and how she jus watched. I did not tell her about the anal. (note: I changed my password and stopped using the main computer in the house.)

She is kind of in shock or so she says. She asked me a little about it but not that much. I’d like to hear what people think. I felt that she should not being reading my e-mails, but I knew she snooped she had found pictures that I had looked at before bi, straight, and gay as well as bi erotic stories. She digs pretty hard to find the stuff. I want to have a sex life and that is just what this is just kinky fun. Has this happen to others on the site? Has any one been caught in the act and what happen? Thanks for the input.

Your situation is not that unusual. I am sure that many married men do not get enouth sex and that their wives could be the primary cause. However, it takes two to tango. Somewhere along the line either or both of you were satisfied with your limited sexual encounters. The period between them apparently increased and then as you said you have not had sex in the last two year. She has a problem! Has she seen a Doctor or counselor? It may be a solution to your problem or it may not. It appears that your sex drive is much stonger than her's. You also seem to enjoy the bi side of your life. Your different positions on sex and her shock of your actifities are probably natural for her. She may feel left out. My wife knew of my bi side for many years. I finally met a man whom I liked very much. I decided it was time to introuduce him to my wife and she agreed. He came to dinner and has been coming back to dinners for the last 4 years. He is a great help around the house and has become a member of the family. My grown children know of our relationship and have accepted it. Hope you can resolve your situation. Joint counseling may also help resolve you differences. Good Luck

I've been there too, although I haven't brought a friend into the house. I just keep a couple of friends in my life to keep my sex life spicy!

I am a married male who loves to meet with guys now and then.My wife and I don't do anything any longer.I love all oral and will continue to see my friend whenever possible.Would like to find someone to meet with more reularly than I do now, which is about every month or so.In Va.

Oops. that should be regularly.

Your married sex life started as you tell it near totally fokaktka - a word I just made up, meaning FUBAR, SNAFU - or Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition, Situation Normal All Fucked Up. My wife and I fucked so much on our honeymoon she got "honeymoon cystitis." That slowed us for a bit. She did not learn about sucking until we saw the movie Bonnie & Clyde with a female neighbor/friend who explained it to my wife. My wife then sucked me when she could not or did not want to be fucked in her pussy or ass. Although we had an active, frequent sex life, I wanted more, always. [See my other post to the discussion here about my first m/m sex.] At first it was just other women, esp. when I was in Southeast Asia, in the war, and often horny beyond redemption, usually after being near killed in combat, several times, lots. And also with the LBFMs - Little Brown Fucking Machines - so common in all of Asia, in many countries - brown, yellow, white, French, Vietnamese, Chinese, Lao, Thai, Japanese, you name it. After four years overseas I returned to the states and in circumstances I cannot recall now I started being with men in porno stores, glory holes, bath houses, more or less anonymous cocksucking, assfucking sex. I also got into an affair with a married woman whose husband was away while my wife was away also in her second pregnancy. She did not like being pregnant either time - the first or second, and that I used as an excuse to stray. Anyway, once I got back into sucking cock, being sucked, fucking and being fucked by and with men, one on one, in 3-ways, groups, orgies and such I just continued. I slowed down some in the late '80s due to the onset of lifetime and deadly STDs, but I still to this very day love sucking cock, being fucked, love cum - the smell, feel, taste of precum and cum - a cock in my mouth, up my ass. Glory holes are much gone these days as far as I know, but there are still mens clubs, bath houses, and the good 'ol Internet, eh? By the way, I divorced my wife some years ago when she got addicted to cocaine and refused to go to rehab. Turned out also she was having sex with women and men all along, even before we married, and with the coke went totally batfuckingshithousemouse crazy, a fucking whore. I sure can't fault her for that now can I? As they say, I am a lesbian too, love eating pussy about as much as I do rimming ass - man or woman -sucking cock, being sucked, fucking ass and being assfucked. After all at some age, please don't ask me when, it is all about feeling good, having fun, being close with another person, about any person, many persons, isn't it?

Why not ask her if she would like to see you do that, or even join in? Or perhaps she is interested in women?

I'm in kind of the same situation, except maybe in reverse. In the early days of our marriage, we had a very active, very kinky sex life. We fucked several times a day, in the middle of the night, in the morning. We got into light bondage, swinging, strapons. She used to use dildo's on me. We danced at gay clubs, I have seen her make out with women and she has seen me make out with guys. That ended after the first year of our marriage when she was diagnosed with cancer. After 3 bouts with it, and all the side effects of the drugs that has kept her alive, her libido is pretty much dead. We still have great sex, but only a couple times a month. But I love her so much I would never leave her over something like frequency of sex.

Because I travel frequently for business, I enjoy myself when I'm out of town. It works for me. I've met some hot assed women and had some wild times. I have also met some hot assed dudes that have fucked the hell out of me.

One of the best was a guy in Boulder. Decent looking guy, 6' 4" or so, a couple inches taller than me, and in pretty good shape. But his cock...wow...a work of art...8", not too thick, not too thin, just right! I sucked his nipples, feasted on his big thick head, and licked and ate his ate and burried my tounge as far as I could in it. At one point, he shoved both of his bull nuts in my mouth and just grinded on my face. He also pulled my head over the edge of the bed so that he could fuck my throat. He then mounted me, and slowly worked his big cock all the way in. After some aggressive doggy (he was really slamming my ass at one point), I put him on his back and started to ride him hard as hell. There have been a couple times when the cock and the ride was so good I came without touching my own cock. This was one of those times. As he came, I came hard, and almost passed out backwards from it. It was nice.

I guess my advice is take it where you can get it, and leave it at that. Hope it works out well for you.

My story is a little different, I have been married for 38 years to the same woman, she enjoys going down on me more then regular sex, but she always knew that before we married that I had sex with a few of my teen buddies, that has never bothered her. I want to enjoy sex with men again and she knows it, but when I ask her to join me with another male the answer is no, but she enjoys men on men movies, she tells me that I'm bi.
I really don't think she is going to say anything if something did happen between me and another male.
But I don't have the balls to go forward.
So what does a guy do?